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Television
Television is a telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving moving pictures and sound over a distance. The term has come to refer to all the aspects of television from the television set to the programming and transmission.
Sites in This Category: 36

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'Allo 'Allo
A website on the English television comedy

Listen. I will say this only once. This website tells you everything you could possibly want to know about 'Allo 'Allo:

* What's new

* Episodes

* Characters

* Cast

* Pictures

etc etc.

Added: 05-11-2006 - Updated: 05-11-2006
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Alfred Hitchcock
Alfred Hitchcock and his movies

Alfred Hitchcock (1899–1980), the British film director and producer, was a master of the suspense thriller genre. He began directing in the United Kingdom before working mostly in the United States from 1939 onwards, taking a dual citizenship in 1956. The "Master of Suspense" and his family lived in a mountaintop estate high above Scotts Valley, California, for 32 years, from 1940 to 1972. He directed more than fifty feature films in a career spanning six decades, from the silent film era, through the invention of talkies, to the colour era. Hitchcock was among the most consistently successful and publicly recognizable directors in the world during his lifetime, and remains one of the best known and most popular directors of all time, famous for his expert and largely unrivaled control of pace and suspense throughout his movies.
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We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
Comment by David Harcourt
Date: 29-07-2006


Added: 25-06-2006 - Updated: 05-07-2006
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BBC Food
10,000+ recipes on the BBC's Food Website

What you'll find in bbc.co.uk/food

* Get Cooking: Interactive video recipes and masterclasses...

* TV and radio: Indian Food Made Easy, Something for the Weekend, Ready Steady Cook...

*News and events: Food in the news, Food events...

* Back to basics: Chicken, Oily fish, Cereals...

* Veggie and vegan: Vegetarian menus, Vegan menus...

* Glossary: A to Z of food...

* Recipes: Recipe finder, Weights converter, Swift suppers...

*Newsletter: Subscribe to the Food newsletter...

* Consumer food matters: Trans-fats, British veal, Omega-3...

* Make the most of: Cooking with citrus, Pick-your-own farms, Barbecue menus...

* Chefs: James Martin, Rick Stein, Bill Granger...


Added: 27-07-2007 - Updated: -
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Blake's Seven
A website devoted to the cult British television series

Charting the adventures of a band of outlaw-freedom fighters, this innovative space-opera was the brain-child of Terry Nation, whose long career included writing for ‘The Avengers’, producing ‘Survivors’ and inventing the Daleks for ‘Doctor Who’.

Our hero is Roj Blake, a resistance leader who is captured and framed on a child molesting charge by the Federation, a corrupt and tyrannical superpower that maintains its stranglehold over the galaxy’s population through brutality and brainwashing. Unjustly sentenced to life on a penal colony planet, Blake vows to bring about the downfall of his accusers and to one day return to Earth...

Together with fellow convicts Jenna Stannis, a tough but attractive smuggler, and the arrogant Kerr Avon, a brilliant computer specialist, Blake manages to escape from the prison ship they are on by seizing control of a derelict space ship, the ultra-sophisticated and amazingly-designed Liberator. Blake uses the ship’s weapons and teleporter to rescue two more criminals, Vila Restal, a cowardly thief who also happens to be an incredibly talented lock-picker, and Olag Gan, the team’s muscle, and then promptly leads them on a fanatical crusade to destroy the Federation and free mankind from slavery. Along the way he recruits Cally, a telepath from the planet Auron, and obtains Orac, a sentient computer with a particularly supercilious personality, which is able to interact with any computer in the galaxy.

Whilst this unlikely band of heroes carries out guerilla attacks on the Federation, they are constantly pursued by Servalan, the beautiful but deadly Federation Supreme Commander, and the vicious killer Travis, Blake’s old nemesis, who are both determined to remove what they see as an annoying thorn from their side.

The show’s particular strength is that it constantly surprises the viewer by doing the unexpected - things do not always go according to plan, the crew come into conflict with each other over ideals and issues, missions are both successful and disastrous, and even main characters are killed in the course of the storyline.

Later seasons see an all-out stellar war; the disappearance of the show’s main character; Avon taking charge and beginning a downward spiral into paranoia; the introduction of new crew members Del Tarrant, ex-Federation soldier and talented pilot, Dayna Mellanby, a weapon’s expert, and Soolin, a beautiful sharp-shooter; a new ship in the form of Scorpio; and quite possibly the most shocking and astonishing ending to a television programme ever seen.

'Blake’s 7' only ran for four series (it would have been three, but a last-minute change of mind by the BBC gave us one more), but a novel, ‘Afterlife’, chronicles the events after of the final episode; two radio plays were also broadcast, which fit into the latter half of the fourth season.

It’s one of those series that you just hope never gets remade, because what we have is so classically unique.

Added: 25-07-2008 - Updated: -
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Borat!
The official website of Borat Sagdiyev, Khazakhstan's leading television reporter

Borat is the story of a reporter for Khazakhstan Television, sent to America to report on life in "the greatest country in the world" (which he persists in calling the "US and A").

The film opens in Khazakhstan, where Borat's reporting responsibilities include coverage of the annual "Running of the Jew". Borat discusses his personal interests, which include ping-pong, sunbathing and "watch ladies make toilet", and introduces his sister, whom he describes as "number four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan".

Soon after his arrival in America, Borat sees Pamela Anderson on TV, in an episode of Bay Watch, and resolves to travel to California to invite her to be his bride. On his way to California, Borat has many adventures, including:

* a visit to a southern mansion, where a banquet is being held under the auspices of the Magnolia Fine Dining Society, from which Borat is ejected when it emerges that the black lady who has accompanied him is a street walker

* a visit to a gun shop, whose owner has a number of helpful suggestions to make when Borat asks what gun he would recommend for shooting Jews

* a visit to a rodeo, where he advises his listeners that in Khazakhstan homosexuality is punished by hanging, to which one cowboy responds "We're trying to get that done over here, too"

* a visit to a college, where Borat leads students in a rosuing chorus of the traditional Khazakh folk song "Throw the Jew down the well"

When he reaches California Borat confronts Pamela Anderson at a book launching, where he proposes marriage and promises her that if she accepts he will give her her own plow. (One viewer of the film said that "there is no way Pamela Anderson is a good enough actress to convey the horror she expressed" when this proposal was made.)

Preview screenings of Borat start in Wellington tomorrow. At advance screenings in the US audience reaction has been extreme. One reviewer on the IMDb said that in the session he attended viewers were "on the edge of their seats, trying not to spray urine on those close to them".

Added: 17-11-2006 - Updated: 23-11-2006
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Boston Legal
The official website of the funniest show on television

Boston Legal is an Emmy and Golden Globe award-winning American dramedy television series that began airing on ABC on October 3rd, 2004. The show is a spin-off of the long-running legal drama The Practice. The series, like its predecessor, was created by David E. Kelley. It follows attorney Alan Shore (a character introduced during the last season of The Practice, played by James Spader) to his new law firm, Crane, Poole & Schmidt. It also stars veteran television actors Candice Bergen and William Shatner. Season 3 began on September 19th, 2006.

Before the show's premiere, it had a working title of Fleet Street, an allusion to the real street in Boston where the fictitious Crane, Poole & Schmidt had its offices. The working title was later modified to The Practice: Fleet Street, but this title was dropped in favor of Boston Legal before the show premiered.

Most of the final episodes of The Practice were focused on introducing the new characters from Crane, Poole & Schmidt in preparation for Boston Legal's launch. Thus, the story of Boston Legal can be said to begin with the episode of The Practice in which Eugene Young and Jimmy Berluti of Young, Frutt & Berluti decided to fire Alan Shore without consulting Ellenor Frutt, beginning a story arc of several episodes. They give Alan a severance package of only fifteen thousand dollars, even though Alan has brought in over six million dollars of revenue to the firm. Tara Wilson gets fired for her loyalty to Alan, and Alan goes to Crane, Poole & Schmidt to represent himself in the matter, thinking he has a claim under Massachusetts law to take over Young, Frutt & Berluti. Denny Crane, Senior and Founding Partner of Crane, Poole & Schmidt, takes an interest in the case and even argues at the trial, cross-examining Young. The jury awards Alan the millions of dollars of revenue he brought in to Young, Frutt & Berluti but does not order the firm to rehire him, so Denny hires Alan at his firm. After Young is appointed a judge, his first case (in the final episode of The Practice) happens to be with Alan for the defense, making Young wonder if Alan judge-shopped (this opens the door for Steve Harris to guest-star on Boston Legal as a judge).

Even with all this preparation, the official premiere episode for Boston Legal does introduce new characters, such as partner Paul Lewiston (Rene Auberjonois, in a role different from his tenure as a hapless judge on The Practice), and has an interesting cameo by Al Sharpton as himself.

In the second season premiere, Anthony Heald reprised his role as a California judge, Judge Cooper, on The Practice (it is rare for an actor in David E. Kelley's shows to repeat a guest role from an earlier show as the same character, but not uncommon for David E. Kelley star to appear in another Kelley show as a different character). Heald was part of the ensemble cast in another show created by David E. Kelley, Boston Public.

Some quotes:

Denny: This country works Alan. You democrats don't want to admit it. Oh I'm not saying there aren't kinks! Foam chips off the occasional space craft, we start the odd war on false pretenses, but by and large...America works! That's why I'm completely nuts about it.

Shirley: You do realize that I am significantly older than you are.
Jeffrey: Then be my significantly older other.

Denny: Well. Shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?
Bethany: Forget it.
Denny: Why?
Bethany: Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, ‘don’t date guys who slept with my mother.’

Alan: Denise, you've always struck me as a woman who secretly longs to be debased. It's an awfully big job. But I feel I'm just the man to... do it.
Denise: Don't stop. I'm curious to see just how low you'll go.
Alan: All the way down. Again. And again. I see the filthy, naughty girl deep inside you, Denise, longing to get out. Now, if you're so unwilling to let her out. Perhaps I should go in after her. I brought my snorkel.

(Discussing a case concerning cannibals)
Shirley: Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Alan: Everything I stand for.
Shirley: I'll drive.
Alan: Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
Shirley: (sarcastically) Yes Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.

Alan: Admit it Shirley, you're drawn to me like Eve to the Serpent. Take me home and help me stretch my coil.
Shirley: Has that line actually worked?
Alan: It's working now.

Denny: Welcome, to Boston Legal.
Claire: Jeffrey, the gross man is fondling me.
Denny: It's the official firm greeting.
(squeezes Claire's butt)
Denny: Cue the music.

Added: 13-03-2007 - Updated: -
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British Television Heaven
A fansite focusing on 17 classic British TV programmes

Plot summaries and related material on classic shows, including:

* Blackadder

* Fawlty Towers

* Sherlock Holmes

* Jeeves & Wooster

* Rumpole of the Bailey

* The Two Ronnies

* Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister


Comments
We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
Comment by David Harcourt
Date: 30-07-2006


Added: 11-07-2006 - Updated: 25-10-2006
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
A website devoted to the American fantasy television series

“In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.”



Sunnydale is your average American town.

Well, apart from the Hellmouth that resides underneath it, that is.

This portal to the underworld attracts vampires, demons and other unnatural creatures from all corners of this world - and a few others - causing the town to become a breeding ground for evil. When young Buffy Summers and her mother move there, Buffy finds she cannot escape her role as the Slayer - it is her destiny to destroy the forces of darkness.

Buffy soon meets the school librarian, Rupert Giles, who is in reality her Watcher. Under his guidance Buffy battles the Master, a powerful vampire imprisoned under the town, his minions, as well as other supernatural creatures such as witches, zombies, demons, and of course, vampires.

The Slayer is meant to fight alone, with only her Watcher to guide her, but Buffy is unique in that she also has her ‘Scooby Gang’ of friends to help: there’s Xander, a nervous teenager who later develops into a strong, confident man; and Willow, a nerdy bookworm who eventually blossoms into a powerful witch. Then there is the dark and brooding Angel, a handsome vampire with a soul, who is on the side of good, and with whom Buffy falls hopelessly in love.

Although at first Giles despairs of Buffy’s youthfulness and the fact that her identity as the Slayer is known by a few others, but he soon realises that this Slayer is unique; he gradually mellows, loosening up from his British stiff-upper-lip-ness, to become a caring, avuncular figure.

Although the title is fairly self-explanatory, the show’s writers quickly move away from Buffy only having to face vampires, and in the first season alone she faces a witch, students possessed by hyena spirits, a demon in the Internet, and a giant preying mantis posing as a teacher. Buffy herself struggles with her secret identity as the Slayer, and strives to keep a balance between it and her ‘normal’ life, especially when she decides to attend the local University. As Buffy grows up, so does the series, and she has to face more adult situations and relationships: she and her friends are aided by the bitchy Cordelia, who becomes a reluctant member of the Scooby gang; Willow finds love, first with Oz, a werewolf, and then with Tara, another young witch; Xander dates Cordelia, and then finds love in the form of an ex-demon; the vicious Spike and Drusilla come to the town and make Buffy’s life a nightmare in more ways than one; the town’s mayor attempts to become a supreme power; two new Slayers arrive; Giles is replaced by another Watcher; a military group charged with capturing demons for their own ends sets up base beneath the town; Buffy loses Angel, falls in love again, faces a god, sees her mother become ill, gains a sister, and even dies a couple of times!

'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' has spawned a series of novels, comic books, and an eponymously-named spin-off series featuring the adventures of Angel, Cordelia and ex-Watcher Wesley. Despite a change of television station sponsor, and a rather disppointing and depressingly bleak sixth season, the show continued to deliver the exiting storylines, wry humour, and action-packed episodes that it was reknowned for. Although 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ended on television with its seventh series, an official, eighth season has just begun in a series of comics published by Dark Horse comics. It seems that there's still life (and death) in Buffy Summers yet!


Added: 25-07-2008 - Updated: -
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Current US TV shows
From About.com, this is an inventory of "articles and resources" about current TV shows in the US.

An Internet guide for television, with feature articles, Website links, and discussion forums. Topics covered include reviews, schedules, ratings, networks, HDTV, theme songs, television violence, commercials, and episode guides.
Comments
We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
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Date: 30-07-2006


Added: 04-07-2006 - Updated: 05-07-2006
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Definitive Diana Rigg
A website (organised by a woman!) devoted to the delectable Diana Rigg

I have been inspired for many years by The Avengers and its most famous character Emma Peel. In this dissertation I will be debating Emma Peel’s status as a valid feminist icon and whether she is simply a cult icon with no real importance within the twentieth century and beyond. I will be looking at her in the context of The Avengers and its other characters, her importance as a feminist and how the clothes she wore communicated her identity." Elizabeth Eggleston, 2002

INTRODUCTION
In 1964, the producers of a successful British television show discovered a young actress from the Royal Shakespeare Company. She had not been the first choice for the part but luckily her abilities as an actress shone through and she was presented to the public as a ready-made fashion icon and a truly modern woman in her time. The programme itself had been very successful, but the heights it reached with her surpassed anything else British television could offer. It became the first British show bought by the American market and was the first worldwide successful British export. The programme was The Avengers and the actress was Diana Rigg. She was only with the programme from 1964-67 and was a mere one out of six actors who assisted the long standing Patrick Macnee, yet the Emma Peel era on the show was defining and arguably the most popular. In the forty years since, the character Emma Peel has become a byword for feminism, fashion and fetishism and was recently voted as one of the Top 100 Television Characters of all time and the number one television sex-bomb by Channel 4.

Her appeal and relevance throughout the forty years since her first appearance in leather Catsuit and fencing mask is a fascination for many who wish to define her as one thing or another. To some, she is an icon of sexuality; fetish, perversion, domination and physical beauty, to others, she is an icon of late twentieth century feminism, and to the rest, Emma Peel is simply a definition of 1960’s cool and kitsch. Here I will look at all these elements of her character and go some way to understanding her timeless appeal and to identifying her as an icon of the twentieth century, as important as Marilyn Monroe and Catwoman. There are three main aspects of this subject that I am discussing. The first is Emma Peel as a feminist icon in the 1960s and in the subsequent forty years. The character is cited as a pioneer of the modern television woman and she is an icon for many who follow The Avengers as a cult. However, it is important to look at the character’s importance in different contexts if I am to conclude that she is an icon or simply a generic female assistant on a fondly remembered cult television classic. Was it simply her status as a fashion icon that has afforded her such adulation and acquired her such a following? Or was Emma Peel more than a space-age dolly girl; more than her name; more than “man-appeal”? By looking at Emma Peel in context, I will be looking at her importance to the world within her own timeframe of the mid-sixties, understanding the cult tag that has been attached to her and her importance to the world since the mid-1960s will help develop ideas of her classification as a style and feminist guru. Is this something that she can be described as or is it a superficial gloss over a flimsy, lightweight 1960s television phenomenon?

I will also be looking at her character in relation to the other two main Avengers girls: Cathy Gale and Tara King. These two were the other most famous co-stars and create an interesting balance when looking at Emma Peel. By looking at Cathy Gale I will be tracing the development of the character of Emma Peel and identifying where the character came from. Cathy is often forgotten by modern publicity about the show and Honor Blackman is more easily identified with the character of Pussy Galore in Goldfinger. However, she is by far and away the original action woman of television and originated many characteristics we associate with Emma Peel and her modern counterparts. In this chapter I will look at these in comparison to the Peel seasons and later to the Tara King/Linda Thorson seasons of the late 1960s. Tara King was a more glamourous and traditional female star and her resemblance to Diana Rigg’s Emma Peel in looks and little else is a fascinating subject when attempting to put the programme in context. It reveals much about the inherent sexism of television producers and shows how forward thinking and stubborn the former actresses had been to push forward their own strength and intelligence.

One of the most identifiable factors about Emma Peel is her wardrobe. She was conceived in an era of pop culture and throwaway fashion, at a time when appearance was everything and everyone aspired to a particular template of perfection. The Avengers was certainly stylish and is often regarded as one of the ultimate icons of this superficiality, relying on its kitsch for its success. I want to consider how the style of Emma Peel represents her identity and others perception of her. Her period on The Avengers saw the introduction of colour film mid-production and her entire wardrobe from 1964 to 1968 represents a cultural development within its own representation of character development. By tracing the style of the character I hope to determine her appeal and her importance more and the overall substance of the show. Hopefully, more understanding of her strengths and weaknesses can be gained, how she represents herself with clothes and how they give us an insight into her sexuality, physical strength and intelligence...

And there's more!


Added: 25-07-2008 - Updated: -
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Dr Who
A website devoted to the British SF television series

“He’s like fire and ice and rage. He’s like the night, and the storm at the heart of the sun... He’s ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe... And he’s wonderful.” – from 'The Family of Blood'

'Doctor Who' is the longest-running science fiction series in the world. From its humble beginnings on BBC1 on Saturday November 23rd, 1963, the show has appeared on television, radio, cinema, stage, books, comics, records, CDs, and even on the internet.

The series chronicles the adventures of the Doctor, an enigmatic Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who has two hearts, a brilliant, if eccentric, mind, and the ability to regenerate into a completely different physical form. The Doctor travels in a time-and-space machine called the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space), which looks just like a battered old London Police Telephone Box, and, assisted by a host of loyal companions, he fights evil in all its monstrous shapes and forms, including the ruthless mutant Daleks in their armoured travel machines; the emotionless Cybermen from Earth's sister planet, Mondas; the Sontarans, a warrior race of clones; and the deadly Ice Warriors from Mars...

To date, there have been ten television incarnations of the Doctor - played by William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant. Peter Cushing played 'Dr Who' in two 1960s movies, Trevor Martin took on the role in a 1970s stage play, and lots more actors in various spoof, skits and homages across the years.

The series is still going strong, with the BBC releasing new novels (which the Guinness Book of Records acknowledges as the longest running book series in the world); Big Finish Productions producing new audio adventures; and the BBC’s website hosting in-depth articles and features on the new television series. Not only that, but two new spin-off shows, 'Torchwood', which stars one of the Ninth Doctor's companions, Captain Jack, and 'The Sarah Jane Adventures' have also recently appeared on our screens.

It looks like the adventures of the good Doctor and his companions will continue for some time to come!

Added: 25-07-2008 - Updated: -
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Dudley Moore
The official website of the English comedian and musician.


DUDLEY MOORE
April 19, 1935
March 27, 2002
Dudley Moore was one of the most beloved and respected artists of our time. Actor, comedian, pianist, composer, conductor, and vocalist, Dudley was renowned for his work in all these areas. Best known to the public for his leading roles in smash hits such as Arthur, 10, Foul Play, and Unfaithfully Yours, he was internationally loved by his audiences. Dudley's first love was music. A highly-trained classical musician, he studied violin and organ at the Guildhall School of Music in London and attended Magdalen College at Oxford University as a scholarship student. In his teens, he was inspired by jazz pianists Erroll Garner and Oscar Peterson, and spent many years performing internationally with his own jazz trio.

As an actor and comedian, Dudley first came to the United States in 1962 with the innovative revue Beyond the Fringe, which was a hit on Broadway. The satire featured Dudley with Peter Cook, Jonathan Miller and Alan Bennett. In 1981, he performed A Salute to George Gershwin with the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra at the Hollywood Bowl, and in 1982, after a New York concert with violinist Robert Mann, resumed a classical career that took him around the globe in performances as a piano soloist with major orchestras. During the 1990’s, he played several Carnegie Hall Benefits for Music For All Seasons, Inc., for which he served as founding Advisory Board President, and he toured with long time two-piano partner, Rena Fruchter.

Dudley announced his battle with the degenerative neurological condition, Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, in November of 1999, and subsequently devoted himself to raising money for two important charitable causes--the Dudley Moore Research Fund for PSP and Music For All Seasons, Inc. He died in New Jersey in March of 2002.

In Dudley’s memory, Martine Avenue Productions continues to bring his music to the public, carrying on his important commitments to artistic quality and to charity.


Added: 13-07-2007 - Updated: -
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E! Online
The website of the Hollywood-obsessed television channel

A sample entry:

Who has had the best hair colour change?

* Britney's blonde to black

* Ashlee's black to blonde

* Lindsay Lohan's black to red

* Nicky Hilton's black to blond

VOTE NOW!
Comments
We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
Comment by David Harcourt
Date: 29-07-2006


Added: 06-07-2006 - Updated: -
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Edward Governo: Historian of Things That Never Were
Links to history that never happened

I can barely bring myself to tell you what this site is about.

As I type this William Shatner's immortal words to a group of persistent Trekkies - "Get a life!" - are ringing in my ears.

This site is divided into television, movies, books, games and comics and in each case (and there are more than 300 cases) what you're looking at is some fan's timeline for developments in an entirely imaginary world.

Star Trek is there, of course. ("...Federation obtains advanced warp technology from the representatives of the Kelvan Empire in Andromeda Galaxy, after they briefly hijack the USS Enterprise. The Kelvans settle a class M planet near the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy, and a robot ship is dispatched to Kelva with greetings from the Federation...")

And:

* Dr Who

* Highlander

* Robotech

* Gundam

* The X-Files

* Babylon 5

* Twin Peaks

* Battlestar Galactica

* Xena Warrior Princes

* Buffy the Vampire Slayer

* Bonanza

* Stargate

* Dragonball Z

and so on and on and on and on...
Comments
We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
Comment by David Harcourt
Date: 29-07-2006


Added: 15-07-2006 - Updated: -
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Go Fug Yourself
The bitchiest website in the world

Go FAQ Yourself: Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is this "fug"? I've never heard of it.

"Fug" comes from "fugly," which is a contraction of "fantastically ugly" (or an f-word more prurient, if you like, but we are clean and delightful young ladies who don't engage in that kind of filth, dammit).

Here's some etymology for you:

fug•ly (adj.)
frightfully ugly; of or pertaining to something beyond the boundaries of normal unattractiveness. Ex: "That 'Kabbalists Do It Better' trucker hat is fugly."

fug (n.)
1. A state of extreme ugliness. Ex: "The level of fug at the Video Music Awards is always hard to stomach."

2. A proper name for someone possessed of eternal heinousness, as Chloe Sevigny: "Oh look, there's Fug, looking all miserable and dour in her black turtleneck and white frilly farm dress."

fug•ging (v.)
The act of posting on one's blog in order to identify something excruciatingly ugly. Ex: "Hey, I am fugging Li'l Kim again for wearing only a tiny piece of cloth."

2. So "fugly" is like extreme ugliness?

Kind of -- we like to think of "ugly" as something that refers to an unchangeable condition, but also a condition above which people can rise.

Fugly, however, is a self-inflicted state, and no one seems to excel at dwelling in the depths of fug quite like pretty people with money to spare and little sense of how to spend it. Celebrities are always skipping around in public wearing things that are phenomenally perplexing; as these red-carpet dwellers are often considered trendsetters or bastions of Hip Present and Hip Future, we like to take them to task for careless choices. (Of particular concern: whomever got little girls thinking that miniskirts and Ugg boots were a stellar combination.)

3. Got it: You crack on celebrities. That means you're jealous, right?

You're not reading our blog -- you're reading our souls! Who wouldn't want to go to a premiere dressed like a drunk genie? Just the other day we turned to each other and each said, "I wish we had some gold lame hot pants. Damn Beyonce for having what we want." Jessica is frequently in fits over the fact that neither of us can grow an ill-advised mustache, and when we're being honest with ourselves, we know that we wish we could go out in public wearing only napkins.

4. You two need to stop eating Twinkies and get on the treadmill. Clearly you're fat and bitter, and no one will ever love you.

We would get off the couch, if the donut glaze on the backs of our thighs hadn't hardened into a thick paste, forever yoking us to the sofa.

5. But, seriously, who are you guys?

You can learn more about us here.

6. I said seriously.

There is nothing un-serious about Joan Collins's cleavage. Period. But if you must know, no, we're not a pair of gay men, and yes, Heather and Jessica are our real names.

7. I know who that Random Fug is! It's...

Don't worry -- we know, too, so unless we printed it and got it wrong, you don't need to e-mail us (although we appreciate the enthusiasm). We don't mean for the "Random Fug" postings to be a guessing game; we just sometimes can't or don't work the name of the person into the flow of the post itself.

8. Where are the comments? I need the comments!

Things were getting busy in there, and more than a little hateful in ways that made us uncomfortable. (And if bitches like us are uncomfortable, well, you know things got very messy in there.) We generally don't have the time -- or the software, really -- to moderate them the way they desperately needed to be handled, so it became necessary to close the comments for the immediate future.

It might not be forever, but it's for now.

9. What about forums?

See above -- those require extensive moderating and their own intricate FAQ to keep some of the nonsense that appeared in the comments from spilling over into a forum and getting a life of its own. We're not ruling out the idea, but we're also not going to pursue it until we have copious time to do it RIGHT. This isn't something we want to half-ass.

10. I'll do it for you! I'll moderate whatever you want me to moderate.

Thank you, very sincerely. People are so generous, and offers like this have been greatly appreciated. But we're not looking for outside moderators at this point in time; when we do, you'll be the first to know. We promise.

11. Where can I get an "I Hate What You're Wearing" t-shirt?

We're so sorry -- those were an April 2005 pre-order only, meaning that the lovely Glark from Glarkware only made as many as were ordered. But in the future we plan to do more with shirts and the like, so keep your eyes peeled.


Added: 05-08-2007 - Updated: 05-08-2007
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