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South Park
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Quotes from South Park, the animated TV show

South Park is an animated series featuring four boys who live in the Colorado town of South Park, which is beset by frequent odd occurrences. The show grew out of a short film that Trey Parker and Matt Stone made named The Spirit of Christmas.

You can see a summary of episodes in the show in TV.com (which is a poor site, in our view), but this is the site you need for quotes from the show.

Some samples:

Jewish kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.

Mr. Garrison: Let's start the day with a few new math problems -- what is five times two? Yes. Clyde?
Clyde: Twelve.
Mr. Garrison: Okay. Now let's try and get an answer from somebody who is not a complete retard.

Cartman: Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.

Other Mom: Can Eric spend the night?
Mrs. Cartman: No, I'm sorry, Eric is grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews last week.

Cartman: I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement.

Tweek: But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?
Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except that one time?

Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm festivally plump!

Mrs. Broflowski: Mr. Garrison, you're a Clan member?
Mr. Garrison: No no, Mr. Hat is.
Mr. Hat: White power! White power!
Mr. Garrison: You are such a racist bastard, Mr. Hat.

Museum of Tolerance Lady: You other boys have probably called this young man names like 'tubby' or 'lard-butt' or 'fat tits.'
Kyle: Fat tits, that's a good one.
Stan: Yeah, we'll have to remember that.

Reporter: This week a boyscout leader has been apprehended for taking sick child pornography pictures, which we will now show you.

Cartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

Kyle: OhmiGod! They killed Kenny. You bastards!

Mr. Garrison: Settle down, children. I have some difficult news. This is going to make you all very sad. The school board is considering firing me as your teacher. There's a possibility that I'll be let go and never allowed to teach you again. Yes, Stanley?
Stan: That's okay with us.
Cartman: Yeah.
Stan: Yeah, that's fine.
Mr. Garrison: No, it isn't. It makes you very sad.

Cartman: Poor people tend to live in clusters.

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We think this is a useful and interesting site. What do YOU think? Let us have your comments here on the usefulness of the site, and any alternatives which we should be adding to The Unscrambled Web.
Comment by David Harcourt
Date: 29-07-2006

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